Today was just not my day......
I was rather cranky today. Anything Chase did drove me nuts! I was rather snappy. I didn't mean to be, but that is just how it came out. I just wanted to be alone, but of course that isn't possible with Mark at work and Kiera at school. So I tried doing stuff in my room with the door open while Chase played in the living room watching a movie. He would run down to my room every once and a while or I'd check on him. It helped a little, but he still got on my nerves. Nap time was the best. I longed for it all morning and he slept for at least 2 hours. I got to watch a movie and work on Mark's Stocking that I've been doing in cross-stitch.
After nap time, I felt better, but still cranky. It slowly went away, but then crept back up on me after Mark left for Scouts. Kiera got home later as well, due to an activity at the campus she wanted to do, but ended up not. Normally I wouldn't care about that and would enjoy the time with just me and Chase, but today it didn't work that way.
Then came bedtime. Chase would NOT go to bed. We have set a routine with him where we read a story then put him in his bed, turn out the light and then we lay down next to his bed while he falls asleep. If we leave before he is asleep he starts to cry. Today that just really bugged me, especially with him not going to sleep. I'm writing this two hours after his bed time and Mark is still in there with him, waiting.
We have been trying to potty train Chase. We don't know what else to try. Every time he tells me his diaper is ca ca I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty and he replies no. I then ask do you want me to change your diaper and he replies yes. We tried the every 20 minutes thing asking him and we would have to force him to go sometimes. When he would sit on the potty he would sit there for 15 minutes asking "What's that" or playing with the towel hanging from the rod or whatever he could reach. It was really annoying. Every time I change his diaper, give him a bath, whatever, I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty and he always says no. I am completely lost. He understands it and just wants a diaper.
I felt like a failure tonight with not being able to potty train my son and not being able to get him to go sleep on his own. I know I'm not and that all kids are different and learn differently and at different times in their lives. I just couldn't help but feel inferior and stupid. With that on top of my bad/cranky day and hormones already out of whack I just broke down and cried and needed to vent. I love my son more than anything and can't wait to raise his sibling that is growing inside of me and I miss him while I'm at work, but today was just a day that I wanted to give up and run away. I hate that feeling and it scares me.